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Makin’ it Rain Plastic
“Do you want to save 15% today and sign up for our JC Penney card?” Little did I know at the time, my answer to this question would adversely change the year that lay ahead of me. “Sure.” I filled out...
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Does He Like You? A Junior High Guide
[Note: While I'm pulling my hair out house-hunting, long-distance romancing and dealing with the other wonderful blessings befallen on me at this joyous time, enjoy this older favorite, originally...
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50 Shades of Dismay – Adventures in Spray Tanning
by Kirsten Benzel I’ve never made a New Year’s resolution. I’m 28. I reasoned that the new year is nothing more then an arbitrary number and I’ll take care of business when it’s time and not when I...
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Downton Abbey: The Season 3 Drinking Game
Here in the States, PBS aired the first episode of Downton Abbey, season three. I’m not sure of what to make of this season just yet – there was a lot of exposition in the first episode and not a whole...
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Menacing Kitten Headquarters Melts Down, Cries Glowing Chernobyl Tears
No one is this happy. As you know, I am moving. What you may not know is my shit is moving out six weeks before I do, nothing is working the way it’s supposed to, nothing is happening on time,...
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Menacing Kitten Services You Part II: The Everyone is Tacky Wedding Edition
Hello, fair felines, to my second edition of The Menacing Kitten Services You. Through the thick storm clouds of writer’s block and moving stress, a beacon of inspiration has cracked through thanks to...
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I Gave a Great Happy Ending
[Originally posted on Mar 28, 2012. This is the last entry of my most popular/favorite posts. Everything after this point is in actual posting chronology.] [Note: * indicates a name change] “…And we...
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Five Lands, One Dumbo Drop
[Originally posted May 27, 2012. Sorry, it still makes me laugh at how gross and ridiculous it is.] This is a travelogue concerning poop. Consider yourself warned. Back in 2006, I was on an...
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Learning How to Sleep With Someone
[Originally posted on Mar 11, 2012] There is something we all must learn as we gingerly step into adulthood, and that is how to sleep with someone. I’m not talking about anything sexual, I am simply...
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I Hate You, Michael Landon
[Originally posted on November 11, 2011. Surprisingly, this is the most viewed and shared post I have ever written. The internet is mesmerized by Pa Landon's apple-cheeked death gaze.] An essential...
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